Who We Are Sneak Peek


Happy Monday, everyone! (Can happy and Monday be used in the same sentence? Is that legal?)

With only a week to go before the official release date of Who We Are, I thought I’d tease you with a sneak peek! So, here is the prologue, written in Oliver’s point-of-view, and set ten years before the official story begins. I hope you enjoy it!




I WAS READING a text from a friend when the doorbell rang. I glossed over the message that told me all about the fun they’d had at the club last night, how apparently I’d have had an absolute blast and I’d missed the best night ever. I didn’t plan on replying.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” My social worker, Andrea, bustled through my front door, clutching her bag and several files close to her chest. “My last meeting ran over. Is Ty still up?”

“Yeah,” I answered, closing the door behind her. “He’s playing in the living room.”

She walked over the uncarpeted floor, stepping over toys and various pieces of washing I’d forgotten to pick up, while smiling her non-judgemental smile. “Hey, Ty!” Her voice was bright and songlike as she bent down to my little brother’s level, dropping her bag to the floor. “Cool train. Is this Thomas?”

“No. That’s Henry. Thomas is blue.” Tyler narrowed his eyes like she was a moron…because everyone knows Thomas is blue.

I stood awkwardly for a moment, stuffing my hands into my pockets, before finally taking a seat on the couch. I watched them play together for a few minutes, pondering if this was some kind of test and hoping Tyler passed.

Then, Andrea got up from the floor and came to sit next to me. “How are you doing, Oliver?”

I thought about it for a second, wondering if there was a right answer she wanted to hear. Just six months ago I was living on my own – nowhere fancy, just a tiny flat above a chippy in Wythenshawe. I was independent for the first time in my life. I had friends, a social life, a good job after completing my hairdressing apprenticeship which I began as soon as I left school at sixteen. I knew exactly where my life was heading.

But then, five months ago our mum was diagnosed with leukaemia. Three weeks ago, it killed her. I couldn’t lose Tyler too. We didn’t have anyone else. “I’m good. We’re good.”

Andrea raised an eyebrow, like she didn’t believe me. “Oliver, raising a young child is incredibly difficult, especially when you have no experience. You’re allowed to be honest with me. I’m here to help you.”

“We are good,” I insisted. “I can do it. I swear I can.” Please don’t take him from me.

“I know you can. I’ve seen nothing here over the last few months to suggest that you’re doing anything other than a fantastic job. My point is you’re not alone. There are many ways we can help you, should you need it. I’m not here to try and catch you out. I’m here to offer support and advice and make sure you’re both adjusting okay.”

Oh. Did she really mean that, though? Could I trust her? Andrea had been visiting for the last three months, ever since we discovered my mum’s cancer was terminal and I’d be becoming Tyler’s guardian when the inevitable happened, thanks to his deadbeat dad fucking off the second the stick turned blue. On reflection, she’d never actually given me any reason to believe Tyler would end up in care, but I was a twenty-year-old man with no real prospects, not much money, and no clue how to take care of a four-year-old on my own. This time six months ago my life consisted of styling hair by day and getting drunk and screwing around by night. I wasn’t exactly glowing parent material.

But, that was before. That wasn’t my life now, because, Christ, I loved my brother. I could change for him, learn for him. I would take care of him.

“He…he’s already stopped asking for her as much,” I said, staring over to him, watching him play with his trains, completely oblivious to how unfair the world was. “It’s only been three weeks. I’m worried that he’s forgetting.”

“Children adapt very quickly. It’s important for him, for both of you, to keep talking about her.”

“I do. We, uh…” Damn, this was hard. My voice cracked and my chest hurt just thinking about her. I missed her. Every second of every day. I missed her. “We have a photo next to his bed and we say goodnight to her every night.”

“That’s good.” Andrea nodded, smiling sweetly.

“He got in trouble at school yesterday for hitting another boy with a stick. He never did anything like that when Mum was alive. I keep thinking I’ve done something wrong,” I admitted. It was so hard. Everything was just…so hard.

“I think the most likely reason is that he’s four years old and still learning right from wrong, and how to communicate his emotions effectively. The school is aware of your situation. You mustn’t be afraid to discuss your concerns with them.” Reaching out, she put her hand on my knee. “All anybody wants is what’s best for that little boy, and what’s best for him is to stay with you, his family. There are lots of people to help you along the way.”

Those words felt like a pin stabbing into the balloon of pressure that had been building up inside my chest for months. “Thank you,” was all I could think of to say. I didn’t know if I’d ask for help. Honestly, part of me just wanted to get on with life and find some kind of routine for Tyler and me, but knowing it was there provided some relief.

“Olli can I ‘ave my ‘tine yet?” Tyler threw his train down on the floor and moulded his body into a leapfrog position.

Crap. I’d forgot to go shopping. Crap. Crap. Crap. “Aw, I’m sorry, Ty. We’ve ran out of Ovaltine. I can make you some warm milk instead.”

His little face scrunched up, his cheeks turning red, and I prayed to whoever the hell might be listening that he wouldn’t lie down on the floor and paddy in front of Andrea.

I don’t like milk!” he yelled. “I want ‘tine!”

Oh shite. Please stop. “I’m sorry,” I said to Andrea, completely mortified, before turning back to Tyler. “Tyler, use your quiet voice please,” I told him in a firm tone, because I’d overheard his teacher use that line in school.


Clearly, his teacher had magical powers that I didn’t possess.

“It’s late,” Andrea said, offering a sympathetic smile. “Which is my fault. He’s probably overtired. I’ll leave you alone.”

“I’m sorr-” I went to apologise once more but she cut me off with a wave of her hand.

“No need. I’ll call to arrange another visit. I’m happy to leave it two weeks this time if you are?”

“Absolutely.” I hadn’t meant to sound so thrilled, but if she’d decided to leave a longer gap between visits then that must’ve meant I was doing okay, right?

“Of course if you need anything sooner you know where to find me.”

I nodded, smiling gratefully, while also wanting to chew Tyler’s arse off for continuing to embarrass me by screaming in the middle of the floor, and went to follow her from the room.

“I’ll see myself out,” she insisted. “You see to Tyler. Goodnight, Oliver. Bye, Ty!” she added, her voice cheerful as she waved at him.

“Bye,” he said, his voice sulky before he stuck his bottom lip out.

Walking over to him, I crouched down. “Look, let’s go see what’s in the cupboard,” I said, holding out my hand for him to take. “And we’ll make friends again.”

He took my hand but still wore a grumpy face. “I always have ‘tine before bed.”

Standing up, I led him into the kitchen and lifted him onto the countertop. Opening the cupboard, I moved the beans and spaghetti out of the way, searching for something to make him a warm drink with. “Ah ha! Horlicks. That’s just like Ovaltine, only white instead of brown. In fact, it tastes even better than Ovaltine. I read somewhere once that Superman drinks Horlicks.”

“No he doesn’t,” Tyler said, his mouth trying to smile but his bad mood stopping it reaching his eyes. “You made that up.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

His cheeky grin grew wider. “Did too.”

I stuck out my tongue and poked his belly. “Did too.”

“Did…” He started chuckling, and it was adorable. He had such a throaty laugh for such a little boy. “Hey! You said too!

“What d’ya say? You gonna try the Horlicks? And if you don’t like it I’ll let you tip it on my head.”

He laughed again. “Bet you won’t.”

“I will, I promise. But if you like it then I get to tickle your belly until you scream.”

He giggled again. “Okay.”

Upstairs, he drank his Horlicks –without complaint – while I read him a story about a bear who couldn’t stop trumping.

“Eww!” I said, scrunching my nose. “Did you trump?”

“Noooo!” Tyler laughed. “It was the bear!”

“You sure?” I wafted my hand in front of my nose. “It’s a bit stinky in here.”

“It’s the bear! It’s the bear!”

Noticing his Horlicks was all gone, I took the cup from his tiny hands and placed it on the bedside table before hovering my fingers above his belly. “Well I think it was…you!” Hand on his belly, I started tickling…just like I promised.

He laughed and wriggled and kicked out with his legs. Every so often I’d stop for a second so he could catch his breath before going back in for more. “Olli, stop!” he pleaded, crying with laughter. “I can’t b-breathe!”

Relenting, I buried my face in his belly and blew a giant raspberry. “Come on, buddy. Time for teeth and then sleep.”

In the bathroom, I let him brush his own teeth before going over them myself, and then we headed back to his room where he changed into mismatched pyjamas – because I hadn’t figured out how to be organised with washing yet – before he climbed into bed. As always, I tucked him in, folding the duvet over his small body before sitting on the edge of his mattress. Picking the framed photo of our mum off the little wooden table next to his bed, I said goodnight to her before angling the frame in front of Ty.

“Night, Mummy,” he said, giving the photo a kiss. “Will she come home when she’s finished working for the angels?” I couldn’t count how many times he’d asked this question, or how many times it’d broken my heart.

“She wants to, because she misses you so much, but she can’t, Ty. She can see you though, and she can hear you if you talk to her.” I didn’t know if that were true. I suspected not, but it was a nice idea and one a four-year-old needed to believe.

“I love you, Mummy. Did she hear that?”

“Yep.” I nodded. “She heard it, and she loves you too.”

“How’d you know?” he asked, his expression inquisitive.

“Because I can feel it.” Taking his little hand, I placed it on his chest. “Right in here. Feel it beating? That little thump?”

“Mm hmm.”

“That’s your heart, and hearts are filled with love. As long as you feel that little thump, you’ll know that you’re loved, okay?”

Nodding quickly, he smiled.

Taking the photo from him, I took a last look at my mum as I placed it back on the table. I looked like her. I had her red hair and blue eyes. I was taller though – just over six foot, something I must’ve inherited from my father, although I didn’t remember him well enough to recognise other similarities, and my mum hadn’t kept any photos. Sometimes I’d see her face and feel…angry. I’d feel so mad at her for deserting us, for not having her life more sorted and secure and leaving us with nothing. It was selfish and unfair of me and then I’d hate myself for it. The truth is I wasn’t angry. I was alone. I missed her and I needed her. I wasn’t mad, just…scared.

“Time to go to sleep now, mister.”

Tugging on my arm, Tyler looked up at me with pleading eyes. “If I wake up in the night can I come in your bed?”

There hadn’t been a single night yet since Mum passed away where he hadn’t snuck under my covers around two AM. As with everything, I didn’t know if letting him was the right decision, but I justified it by telling myself he’d grow out of it. Presumably he wouldn’t still be climbing in my bed when he was an adult, so where was the harm?

Lowering my head, I kissed the top of his head. “Sure you can.”

“Nighty nighty, Olli.”

“Pyjamas pyjamas.”


Since putting his life on hold ten years ago, Oliver Clayton doesn’t know who he is anymore. To his clients at the hair salon, he’s the sassy and confident stylist. To the crowds who come to watch his drag act at the club, he’s the fierce and fabulous Miss Tique. He’s popular. Talented. Out, proud, and self-assured.

He’s also a good actor.

Sebastian Day is content with life’s easy, if not a little monotonous, routine. After several failed relationships, he likes the simplicity of being alone in his truck at his job as a heavy goods driver, spending the weekends with his teenage son, and putting the world to rights with his cat, Marv. He’s not lonely. He isn’t hiding.

At least…he doesn’t think he is until he meets the mesmerising stranger with the red hair and purple lips.

Can Oliver and Sebastian help each other embrace who they are? Or will a cruel twist of fate end their journey before it’s even begun?

Goodreads button


Goodbye 2016! Well, Almost…


So I had this big, fancy, end-of-the-year blog post planned, which is a big deal because I never remember to update my blog! But then my MacBook decided to die (inconsiderate b*st*rd) and my new one won’t be here until January. ARGH! Therefore, I’m attempting to write this on an app on my phone that I’ve never used before, so expect typos and less of the fanciness I’d previously planned! 

Well, 2016 is almost over and I can’t say I’ll be disappointed to see the back of it. It’s been a mixed bag year for me. It started out wonderfully with the release of Broken, and I know I’ve said it a thousand times but I’ll say it a thousand more, THANK YOU for all your love for that book. That story, those characters, and you – my readers – are so incredibly special to me. Then came Counting Daisies, and work wise that was it for this year. I didn’t plan it that way but…life. Grrr. 

However, I have lots planned for 2017 which is the point of this post! I know I’ve been neglecting you guys in regards to updates, especially on my author page on Facebook, so here’s what you can expect from me next year! 

I keep getting asked if Paul and Derek from Counting Daisies are still getting a story of their own, and the answer is…YES! I’m so sorry it didn’t happen straight away, but like I said…life. I had a wobble. My author switch broke for a while, and I put them on hold because I wouldn’t have done their story justice. But know they’re in my head and talking to me. I’ve seen their cover, designed by the fantabulous Reese Dante (it’s gorgeous!), and they’re proving to be a lot of fun! 

First up, though, you’ll be meeting Oliver and Sebastian in Who We Are. I hoped to have a release date for you by now but thanks to my inconsiderate MacBook breaking, work has stopped and I’ve fallen a few weeks behind. BUT I’ll be revealing the cover, designed by the freaking awesome Jay Aheer, in January! Seriously, I’ve had the cover for what feels like ages and haven’t told anyone. You have no idea how hard this has been! I deserve an award! It’s beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Ahhh I want to show you so baaaaad! In the meantime I’ll have to remember to start sharing some teasers with you, or you can check out my recent guest posts over at Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy. You’ll find some excerpts there! 

Hmm, what else? Oh, Broken is being released in French through MxM Bookmark in April which is seriously cool! I won’t understand a word of it, but I’ll be insanely proud to have a copy on my bookshelf nonetheless! And I’m excited and nervous to hear what French readers think of my guys. In other Broken news, James and Theo are coming to audio in 2017 too! They’re being brought to life by the amazingly talented Joel Leslie and I can’t even describe how much I’m looking forward to that. So it’s a busy year for my Broken men! 

It’ll be a busy year for me too, or at least June/July will be! You’ll be able to catch me at three signing events during these two months – The Cleveland Author Event on June 10th, The Dedicated Ink Book Affair in Newcastle, UK on 17th June, and the Shimmer MM Author Signing in Birmingham, UK on 1st July. So if you’re attending any of these, come and say hi! 

Jeez, I’m knackered already just thinking of all that’s coming next year! But soooo looking forward to it too. So here’s to an awesome 2017 for all. I hope you enjoy what’s left of this year. Wishing lots of love, good health, and happiness to you and your families. Thank you for sticking with me. I LOVE and adore you guys!

Happy Holidays!

Oh, one last thing…I always remember one last thing! In case you missed it, my person, AKA T.a McKay, and I are having a Christmas giveaway! For your chance to win a Kindle Fire (UK only), a $50 Amazon Gift Card (US only), Signed Paperbacks (international), or a swag pack (international) click on the Rafflecopter below! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Story Behind the Story


Firstly, I have something to blog about! Go me! I feel like this might be the greatest accomplishment of my career! Okay, now my excitement is out of the way, let’s get to the point.

It’s been three days since Broken released and I am already blown away by people’s reactions to it. Thank you for all your kind words, your amazing words in fact. Thank you for reading, for sharing. Thank you for staying with James and Theo on their journey, and thank you to the people who have shared parts of your own journeys with me. To know that my writing has affected people, maybe even helped them in some way, means the absolute world to me. So thank you. A thousand times over, THANK YOU.

Now, the prompt for this post, a post I never expected, or particularly wanted, to write. Among the messages and emails I have received regarding Broken were a small handful from people condemning the way I chose to handle the topic of mental health, or more accurately, the mental health system here in the UK. A couple in particular were angry and disbelieving. These same people told me they were right and I was wrong because they know someone who works in our mental health system.

This disgruntled me somewhat, but in order to remain professional I have to keep my opinions to myself, or at least not get into a direct argument. Hell, it’s not even professionalism standing in my way. The fact I’m a total wimp when it comes to confrontation probably plays the strongest role. So, I’m replying here. Publicly. And to nobody in particular.

This isn’t an objection to a poor review, or me being pissed off that somebody didn’t like the book. I’ve been in this game for a while. Everybody has the right to love or hate a book and it isn’t my place to be offended. This is about the fact I have been told I shouldn’t write about such a serious topic when I know nothing about it, that I shouldn’t mislead the public with information that isn’t accurate. This is about me standing by my story, defending my characters, and supporting those people who have faced similar struggles.

I do know about it.

It is accurate.

I have lived it.

The fact is nobody is right or wrong here. Every person has different experiences. The way James’ illness was handled by the mental health professionals in Broken can happen. It has happened. The only way I felt able to create an authentic story for James and Theo was to draw on my own personal experiences. So to the people who have told me James would never have been discharged from hospital after so little time given his situation, to the ones who quoted the laws regarding sectioning levels in the UK, the person who told me ‘according to their friend in the profession’ what I wrote about how and when James was misdiagnosed would never be allowed to happen…

It has happened. I’m not saying it should. I’m not saying this is the protocol which all mental health professionals should, and do, follow. I’m not saying this is the mental health rulebook and James’ story is the only story. I’m not saying whichever person you might know who works in the field is wrong. Honestly? I don’t know all the rules and regulations from the perspective of a medical professional. I do, however, know what it’s like to be on the other side. On James’ side. So I guess what I am saying is to those people who refute the idea that this story could be real…it is real. It might not have happened to you. It might not have happened to the people you ‘know’ who work in mental health. It might not be supposed to happen to anyone.

All I know is that it can. I know it can because it has. The only difference between my opinion and that of those who have contacted me, is that I’m not saying my account is the only account. Every single person with any type of mental health problem should receive the same care. They should be listened to. They should be taken seriously. They should never be dismissed or sent away with nothing more than a bottle of pills and a sympathetic smile.

But sometimes, that is what happens. Our mental health system is under huge pressure. Sometimes doctors aren’t as professional or knowledgeable as they should be. Sometimes hospitals and mental health services are overworked and understaffed. Sometimes rules are ignored or forgotten. Sometimes, whatever the reason…people aren’t given the help they deserve.

So, I stand by my story. I stand by the truth behind it. I stand by all the people who have, or love somebody who, struggles with their mental health. We may not all share the same experiences. We may not all take the same route or get the same help and support. But we can all make it to the other side. We can be happy, successful, and loved, even if we’re a little bit broken.

Because as the story says…broken crayons can still colour.



Favourite Reads of 2015 and ***GIVEAWAY!***

Don't trust the cut

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE EVERYONE! Not only is today New Year’s Eve but it’s also my birthday, so I thought I’d celebrate with a giveaway!


First things first, I have read some amazing books this year and discovered some new-to-me MM authors who have taken my stalker tendencies into serious overdrive. I’ve looked back over all the books I’ve read and have chosen these five as my absolute favourites of the year, in no particular order, because that would be like choosing between my kids (which right right now would be the cat, because out of all the human kids and the dog in the house right now she’s the only one not driving me batshit crazy.)


Here goes….(I’m feeling giddy just thinking about these books again!)


Don’t Trust the Cut by Kade Boehme 

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Amazon.co.uk


Don't trust the cut

Tucker Gray is a Baltimore, MD waiter, hailing from the deep south, whose mental health issues and past relationships have made it hard to trust more than the cut. After he hits what he thought was rock bottom Tucker decides to keep close to the ones who stood by him and keep his head down, until he finds something to prove it can get better.

Jesse Bauer is unsure what his future holds after an injury forces him to retire from the marines. With all of the decisions he has to make in his civilian life with all of its freedoms and possibilities, he feels staying closeted and keeping the people in his life happy will keep down the chaos.

Until the night he met Tucker Gray at a party he thought that’d be possible, but both of them are instantly and strongly in lust. As their relationship grows Jesse has to prove himself and Tucker has to learn to trust more than the cut.

Violence Begets by PT Denys

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Amazon.co.uk

violence begets

After a tragic accident devastates his family, 16-year-old Rick St. James starts his junior year of high school without any friends in a suburb of Salt Lake City, Utah. When he meets Kevin Vincent, he’s too distracted by the promise of new friends to see that Kevin has secrets of his own.

Having created an environment where he’s feared and admired by his classmates, Kevin finds pleasure in using his good looks and violence to control and manipulate those around him. Secretly, he cruises the gay club scene, turning tricks to earn money so he can party and get high.

As Rick’s dad becomes increasingly violent and abusive at home, the two form a surprising and volatile trust. In this battle of wills, their precarious friendship will either keep their lives from blowing up around them or possibly light the fuse that will cause the explosion.

Worth the fight by T.a. McKay

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Amazon.co.uk

worth the fight

The ring is his home. It’s the place he feels in control.
Zeke ‘The Storm’ Raine has his life all planned out.
Fight it.
Win it.
Own it.
The plan was working, it’s almost his time to shine, to be the ultimate.
One moment was all it took to bring it all crashing down around him. One punch, one moment of distraction, one mistake by another and his dream could be a faint memory.
Bryce Tanner, one time fighter and now the coach Zeke doesn’t think he needs. Moving to a new country to take this job, and he’s determined that he will succeed. Now that he’s met Zeke, Bryce must make his own plans, rules that he is going to have to work hard to stick to.
Be strong.
Be professional.
Be his coach.
He just doesn’t know if he will be able to resist.

Passions run high, making their professional relationship difficult. Can they keep the outward façade while becoming more?
Now Zeke needs to decide, is he willing to walk away from what he loves?

Will he be able to win the most important fight of his life?

Boss by Ashley John 

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Amazon.co.uk


After years of travelling the world using his trust fund, college-dropout Joshua Silverton returns to London to discover two shocking truths; his estranged and wealthy father has been dead for over a year and he left his fortune to a total stranger. Joshua soon meets the man who stole his inheritance and even though he expects to hate Ezra Steele, he can’t ignore the strange attraction he suddenly feels towards him.

Bill Silverton saved Ezra Steele from his troubled past when he signed Silverton Tower over to him on his deathbed. Ezra now has the house, the business, the cars, the money and a different man in his bed every night. It’s a life he wants to cling to, so when Bill’s gorgeous son unexpectedly turns up and demands he hand everything back, his life is turned upside down in more ways than one.

A need to finally prove himself to his dead father forces Joshua to challenge Ezra but will he be able to ignore the attraction in order to be ruthless? Ezra tries to keep his enemies close by getting Joshua into his bed but as history catches up with him, he is forced to face himself. They are both running from their past, so in a battle between head and heart, Joshua and Ezra must choose what is more important – money or each other.

Hell & High Water (Thirds #1) by Charlie Cochet

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Amazon.co.uk

hell and high water

When homicide detective Dexter J. Daley’s testimony helps send his partner away for murder, the consequences—and the media frenzy—aren’t far behind. He soon finds himself sans boyfriend, sans friends, and, after an unpleasant encounter in a parking garage after the trial, he’s lucky he doesn’t find himself sans teeth. Dex fears he’ll get transferred from the Human Police Force’s Sixth Precinct, or worse, get dismissed. Instead, his adoptive father—a sergeant at the Therian-Human Intelligence Recon Defense Squadron otherwise known as the THIRDS—pulls a few strings, and Dex gets recruited as a Defense Agent.

Dex is determined to get his life back on track and eager to get started in his new job. But his first meeting with Team Leader Sloane Brodie, who also happens to be his new jaguar Therian partner, turns disastrous. When the team is called to investigate the murders of three HumaniTherian activists, it soon becomes clear to Dex that getting his partner and the rest of the tightknit team to accept him will be a lot harder than catching the killer—and every bit as dangerous.


Every one of these authors are a new discovery for me this year and they all have a new stalker for life. (If anyone knows where they live, hit me up, ‘kay?)


Thank you so much for your support this year, and to all of you who gave my books a forever home on your kindle or your bookshelf…I adore every single one of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I wish you all the best for 2016, good health, good friends, and good books!

Five winners from the rafflecopter will win an eBook of choice from ANY of the authors in my top 5 (gifted via Amazon), one will be able to choose any signed paperback from my backlist and one will receive a $25/£20 Amazon gift card. Good luck!


Oh, and Matt said to tell you all….




a Rafflecopter giveaway

Getting Back to Business

Taming Ryder_500x750

Over the last few months a few people have commented on the fact I don’t seem to be on social media as much as I used to be. That’s when it hit me I wasn’t doing as good a job as I thought of trying to be myself. I’ve been putting off writing this, in fact as I’m sitting here typing it out I’m still not sure I’m going to be brave enough to hit publish. You see I don’t want to be one of those whiney posters, or someone who thrives on posting every ounce of drama in their life (you know the ones…the type that can create a Facebook war out of being constipated), but I also think I owe people an explanation and to let them know what the future currently holds for the rest of the Souls of the Knight series.


So, here’s the thing. Like with every book I’ve ever written, when I started writing Taming Ryder I was filled with enthusiasm for the story. My mind was buzzing, going crazy with ideas. Anyone who follows me knows that Jake Bass was my muse for Ryder. His look, his eyes…He inspired me, and so I looked into licencing a photo of him for the cover – one which portrayed the lost, innocent look I see in Ryder’s eyes. And I found it. Bingo! I had the perfect cover; a beautiful image that told Ryder’s story.


But then everything changed.


It seems obvious now that using a model in the public eye would draw extra attention from people who were also fans of him, but naively, at the time I honestly believed the story would be the main focus, with the cover I was so proud of being an added bonus. I was wrong. I’m not going into any detail here, I refuse to be that person, but I’ll offer as best an explanation as I can. Since I revealed (and very excitedly revealed) Jake Bass was going to grace the cover of Taming Ryder, things went downhill pretty quickly. I had three experiences that really knocked me, and just as I was starting to surface from the last a new one would push me right back down.


You see, on the outside I play everything off with humour. I don’t let people see the sensitive side of me, the fucked-up side of me that goes down and stays down when things get too much. But that’s what happened. I was accused of things I’d never dream of doing, not once, not twice but three different times. It affected me. Badly. I withdrew completely from social media for a couple of weeks. I spent a long time upset, questioning everything from the story, the cover, even the people I’d befriended. Taming Ryder wasn’t finished, and from that point on I had to fight with myself to get it done. I think that might be how there ended up being so much of myself in Ryder. The way he thinks, the way he deals with things. I was going through a rough patch and it was therapeutic writing certain feelings out on paper. Apart from the porn start bit I should clarify – I promise you I haven’t become a secret gay porn star (unfortunately).


I lost the passion and excitement I felt for not only that story, but all the characters in the Souls of the Knight series. I think that showed in my sales when the book finally released. My heart just wasn’t in it, so how could I expect everyone else’s to be? I tried my best to promote it and give the story the love I know it deserves, but truth be told, I was knocked down a final time and I’m still not back up yet. I guess it’s always lurking in the back of my mind that every time I post something about Taming Ryder, I’m risking getting the kind of attention I don’t think I could deal with again so soon.


Do I regret using Jake Bass on the cover? No. Jake Bass is a beautiful man, and no one could have portrayed the vision I had of Ryder as perfectly as he did. These events are absolutely no reflection on him at all. I continue to ogle…oops I mean admire him every day.


So where does this leave Matt’s story? Right now, I can’t give you a definitive answer. Whenever I think of the series I’m reminded of everything that happened and I just want to break down and never write anything again. But I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I have to pinch myself every day at all the fabulous people – readers, bloggers, fellow authors – I have ‘met’ since I broke into the M/M genre. The love, support and encouragement I’ve received blows my mind and I have made some genuine lifelong friends thanks to Sawyer and the rest of my boys. These are the people I need to keep going for. And I’m trying. I’m using this post as the line I want to draw under everything. So, if you’ve noticed I haven’t been around as much, I’m sorry. I genuinely thought I was putting on a good act – until people told me otherwise. And so, the time finally came when I had to say ‘I’m not okay’, but I will be. I am making it my mission to get back on top form. To post so often you get sick of me. To inundate you with useless facts about my day, and most importantly, to start writing again!


For now, Matt is on the backburner. I have new characters chattering away in my mind and hopefully, writing their story will ‘fix’ me. Hopefully then, I can climb back inside Matt’s head, live once again with all the characters I adored so much in the Souls of the Knight series, and finally give you all his story.


As some people know, I set up a new Facebook account and decided to start again from scratch. This helped me get away from everything for a while, but occasionally I get messages from people thinking I’ve un-friended or blocked them which makes me sad. It’s also another reason why I thought this post necessary. It’s a simple case of Facebook won’t let me add everyone to the new account at once because it thinks I’m spamming. It’s also hard to remember every friend on my old account. But if you’re reading this and you used to be on my friends list but aren’t anymore, pretty please send me a friend request! Likewise if you know someone who thinks I’ve un-friended them, please let them know I didn’t and I’d love to have them back.


So there you have it. I can’t sit here and blame those bad experiences entirely on where I’m at right now. Just like my character Amy from Saving Amy, I’m placing half the blame on my ‘fucked-up-ness’ – something that not many people know about, but I think maybe they need to. Sometimes, putting on a brave face and joking my way out of the serious shit just makes things harder. It makes me not want to be ‘available’ online, which means I’m missing out on talking to the people who made me fall in love with this career so much.


I have so much to look forward to in the coming months. I’m signing all over the UK next year and even in South Carolina! Eeeeep! My new adult M/F Take My Hand series is getting a makeover with brand new covers coming soon and I’m about to start seriously digging into to my new M/M about a dishy FBI agent. Yum! So I need to get my arse back to normal in time for all these things. I doubt you’ll ever see me moping, but if you ever see me being anything less than my usual sarcastic and dirty self, then it’s time to tell me to pull my head out my arse and get back to business! I’ve had enough of this latest glitch in sanity. Time to get back to what matters. You guys, writing….and gay porn 😉


Okay, I’m off to go and hide in a corner until this post has blown over. But for now, in the words of Dexter from the Take My Hand series – don’t ever forget that I love you <3

Why did you switch to M/M?

This is one of the questions I get asked the most, so I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to update the blog!

I’ve had a good few people say they’re sorry I’ve switched to M/M because they loved my M/F books so much.The truth is, I haven’t ‘switched’ necessarily. I’ve always written what I like to read therefore just because I’m writing M/M at the minute, doesn’t mean it will stay that way forever. I’m pretty sure by the time I’m old and grey I will have written a little bit of everything, because you guessed it, I like to read a little bit of everything! This leads me onto something I came across in a review once that got under my skin a bit. Okay so that’s a lie, it actually made me really pissing mad!

“This is the reason M/F authors shouldn’t write M/M.” 

So this person didn’t like Being Sawyer Knight and that is completely fine. Every author knows (or should know) that not every book suits every person. The thing that riled me was that comment. When I write M/F I’m writing a love story, when I write M/M I’m writing a love story…if I were to write a dino porn book I would be writing a love story. And don’t worry, I know I said I like a bit of everything but I promise you dino lovin’ is not in my future! Love is love. Surely it doesn’t matter if the main character is devouring ‘his thick cock’ or ‘her damp folds’? I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I write a rubbish story then leave a review based on the story and not what gender my previous characters were!

Similarly, I saw a review of another author’s book once which said “Authors should choose a genre and stick to it”. Why? I’m proud to be a genre crosser! I honestly think if I spent the rest of my life writing in only genre I would get a little bored and my stories would dry out. Much the same as if I said to myself “Right, I’m only ever going to read New Adult from now on”. When I read I tend to go through phases. I’ll have a couple of months being addicted to New Adult, then I’ll read an erotica and can’t get enough. Then I might come across an M/M or a paranormal and they will take over for a while. It’s exactly the same when I write. I like to mix things up and keep things fresh. So no, I will never choose one genre and stick to it because I have too many different stories bouncing around in my head!

Finally, and I can’t even remember where I read this one, I just know that I did! I once saw a comment from someone who said if you’re going to switch genres then you must choose a different pen name. Again, why? I completely understand why some authors choose to do this – maybe they have different audiences for different genres and like to focus on one at a time. I get it. I have a bunch of readers who only read my M/F stuff and another bunch who only read my M/M. But I also have an even bigger bunch of readers who read both. For me personally, I’m proud of everything I write and want everyone to know which books I’ve written. I like being able to connect with everyone at the same time and so far, so good! So really my argument is no one should say you have to use different pen names for each genre – just that you can if you want!

The moral of the story is…I haven’t ‘switched’ to anything. I’m writing the stories that are in my head and right now that’s M/M. But I have a tonne of stories just itching to get out – more M/F, a couple of dark ones, and I even have the stirrings of a paranormal in there somewhere! So if you don’t like what I’m writing right now, stay with me peeps! I’m sure there’ll be more on the way of what you love!

Oh and as a last note….. IT’S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!! <3 

Interview with Jamie Lake


jamie lake

If you’re looking for a new gay romance series to check out, you might want to consider Jamie Lake’s new series Bad Boy. I had the chance to interview Jamie about Bad Boy and why it’s so different than most m/m books you might read.

Was Bad Boy inspired by any of your other m/m novels or something that happened in your life?

I wanted to do something a little different that was beyond just a relationship m/m but also had a little bit of a thriller aspect to it. I wasn’t sure how readers would respond to it but people seem to really like the idea of a teacher moonlighting as a nude massage therapist while living a double-life, juggling a new love interest, career, and mafia-esque mogul boss.

Bad Boy is a little different than most m/m books. How would you describe it?

Yeah, definitely different. Most m/m’s are heavy on the love and light on the plot and this story definitely had love in it but it has twists and turns and cliffhangers that keep you reading.

What inspired you to create your main character as a teacher?

I wanted a different kind of career that you don’t normally see in m/m books. Besides, teachers can be hot. Can you remember your first teacher crush? I can. I think his name was Mr. Burns or something and he was a health teacher. Yummy.

Tell us about Chip, the hot cop love interest.

He’s this great guy, who is juggling being a single dad and a cop.  He’s ready to settle down but it’s hard for him to find someone who’s cool with the fact that he has a son already and the fact that he works in law enforcement.

Why did you make Tony, the casino mogul your antagonist?

He’s loosely based on someone I know. Actually, someone I dated and although this character isn’t quite as extreme as the real guy, the real guy had his dark side too that wasn’t fun to be around.

How did you balance keeping it hot and not making people creeped out by the fact that your protag is a teacher and a masseuse?

That wasn’t easy but remember, that the m/m world of readers are a lot more open-minded and less judgemental than other readers. I knew that I could take some risks with this story that in other genres, I may not be able to get away with.

Where can we get a copy of Bad Boy?

You can get it exclusively on Amazon http://bit.ly/BADBOYNOVEL1 or email me at JamieLakeNovels AT gmail.

Thank you Jamie! 

100 Reviews Giveaway!

So, Being Sawyer Knight has shot past 100 reviews on Amazon wahooo! I am so incredibly grateful to everyone who has read and reviewed the book and what better way to celebrate than with a giveaway! :-)

I spent the weekend in Edinburgh at the RARE book signing and had an amazing time meeting so many of my favourite authors, bloggers and readers too! While I was there I picked up some fab swag and have stuffed it inside a tote bag signed by lots of amazing authors (Abbi Glines, Sylvia Day, Jodie Ellen Malpas, Aleatha Romig, Pepper Winters, Katie Ashley, Georgia Cates, Jennifer Probst, Jay Crownover, E.K. Blair, Jessica Sorensen….and lots more!) ready to give away to one of you lucky people!

I’m also giving away a signed paperback of Being Sawyer Knight, 2 eBooks of Being Sawyer Knight and an $10 Amazon gift card :-) As a thank you to all the blogs who reviewed during the tour I have included their pages as entry options too! (If I have missed you it was a genuine mistake, just pop me a message and I’ll add you!)

So get clicking and sharing people! and THANK YOU for all your support with Being Sawyer Knight. You guys rock my world <3



a Rafflecopter giveaway

One must know one’s Britishisms!

It seems my British characters are confusing some of my readers across the pond! Although people have still enjoyed reading my books some have mentioned that they’ve had to stop and Google every now and then 😀 I have to admit, I’ve done this with some unusual American words and terms before, and I think it’s fun learning new words! I’ve also seen people reference my ‘spelling mistakes’. This isn’t always the obvious differences like ‘favourite’ and ‘favorite’, ‘centre’ and ‘center’, ‘specialize’ and ‘specialise’ and so on and so forth…but sometimes we just spell and say things completely differently – like aluminium and aluminum! Weird, right?!

So I thought it might also be fun to put together a little glossary for my overseas readers. So here it is – maybe I should even include it in the end of my books for easy referencing? 😉

Before I start, I don’t speak like the Queen. I am common as muck, I swear profusely and I also say a lot of words which are more common in the North of England. So when my characters come from England, you can imagine them all sounding like me!

I’ll start with my favourite – Swear words!

wanker twatted me

Tosser – idiot

Wanker – Idiot

Nobhead – idiot

Gobshite – idiot

Wank stain – idiot

Arsewipe – idiot

Nob – idiot (we have a lot of idiots over here!)

Wank – jerk off

Pissed – drunk

Shite – shit

Sod off – piss off

Twat – punch, idiot, vagina – it has a lot of meanings!

Bellend – idiot, or the end of a penis

British sayings, phrases and slang

Baccy – Tobacco (Wacky baccy – Marijuana)

Barmy – Crazy

Bits and bobs – various bits and pieces

Bob’s your uncle – Understood/successfully done something.”There you go! You’ve got it!”

Bollocks – Balls! Or ‘that’s bollocks’ means ‘that’s shit’

Chav – white trash (Google the Jeremy Kyle show for perfect examples!)

Cheeky – rude/disrespectful/presumptuous

Daft cow – silly woman!

The dog’s bollocks – Awesome!

Donkey’s years – Ages. As in ‘I haven’t seen you in donkey’s years’

To fall arse over tit – To fall or trip over very ungracefully!

Eh? – Pardon, huh, or what do you say?

Fanny – Vagina 😉

Fortnight – two weeks

Get stuffed – a polite way of saying ‘fuck off’

Give you a bell – give you a call

Gobby – loud mouthed and opinionated

Gobsmacked – astonished

Gormless – clueless, dumb, slow on the uptake

Her Majesty’s pleasure – to be in prison

How’s your father? – euphemism for sex

Kip – nap/sleep

Knackered – tired, exhausted

Legless – drunk

Lost the plot – gone crazy

Nicked – stolen

Pissed as a fart – VERY drunk

On the piss – binge drinking

Slapper/slag – slut

Slagging off – saying bad things about someone

Spunk – semen

Starkers – naked

Tad – a little

Taking the piss – making fun of someone

Todger – Penis

Quid – pound (money)

Up the duff – pregnant

General words

Aubergine – Eggplant 

Biscuit – Cookie

Flat – Apartment

Car bonnet – Car hood

Car boot – Car trunk

Candyfloss – Cotton candy

Casualty/A&E – Emergency room

Chemist – Drug store

Chips – French fries

Cinema – Movie theatre/Multiplex

Cling film – Saran wrap

Courgette – Zucchini (seriously I’d never heard of a zucchini until today!)

Crisps – Chips/potato chips

diamante – rhinestone

drawing pin – thumbtack

Dressing gown – bathrobe

Estate agent – Realtor

Flannel – Washcloth

Full stop – Period (I remember the first time I came across this one. I was beta reading for someone and my notes confused them. She was like ‘it doesn’t make sense. What’s a full stop?’ And I was ‘It’s a full stop! How doesn’t that make sense? A full stop is a full stop. Like a tiny dot at the end of a sentence’ ‘ooooh you mean a period?’ ‘Oh my god I can’t believe you guys don’t have full stops!’ You get the idea…. 😉

Grill – Broil

Hen Night – Bachelorette party

Holdall – Carryall

Holiday/Hols – Vacation/Vacay

Hundreds and thousands – Sprinkles

Ice lolly – Popsicle

Knickers – Panties

Jumper – Sweater

Lift – Elevator

Lorry – Truck

Maths – Math

Minger – Ugly person

Minging – not nice

Mint – awesome!

Motorway – Highway

Nappy – Diaper

Noughts and crosses – Tic-tac-toe

Off licence – Liquor store

Number plate – license plate

Pavement – Sidewalk

Petrol – Gas

Postbox – Mailbox

Solicitor – Lawyer

Stag night – Bachelor party

Starter – Appetizer

Swede – rutabaga

Sweets – Candy

Tea towel – dish towel

Tick – Check

Tights – Pantyhose

Trainers – Sneakers

Tram – Streetcar/Cablecar

Trolley – Shopping cart

Underground – Subway

Vest – Undershirt

Wardrobe – Closet

So there you have it. Now you just need to work on your accent and you can sound just like me! Now I’m knackered, so sod off. 😉



4000 likes giveaway!

*** My 4000 Likes Giveaways is HERE! ***

Holy WOW. Over 4000 fabulous people ‘like’ my Facebook page! I’m feeling totally famous over here! 😉

4000 giveaway

I’m so excited and giddy it’s unbelievable, so to celebrate I have my biggest giveaway yet for you! There have been some awesome donations from authors and bloggers and I can’t thank them enough. There will be 31 winners in total – how huge is that???!

So what prizes are on offer I hear you ask…


  • 2 winners can choose a signed paperback of any one of my books (International)
  • 2 eBundles of Take My Hand, Hold On Tight (Take My Hand #2) and Lean On Me (Take My Hand #3)
  • 2 eBooks of Missing Pieces
  • 2 eBooks of Saving Amy
  • 3 eBook box sets of the Blissful series, volumes 1-3 by Clarissa Wild
  • Amazon eBook of choice up to $5 donated by The Book Enthusiast
  • 2 eBooks of Fractured Legacy by Skye Callahan
  • $5/£5 Amazon gift card donated by BegMeForBETA
  • 3 Signed Postcards by Rebecca Brooke, author of the Forgiven Series – donated by Mia’s Point of View. (UK Only)
  • 2 eBundles of Beneath it All and Over the Threshold (Let me Love You series) by Rani L. Rhyes
  • 2 eBooks of Save Me From Myself by Stacey Mosteller (I LOVE this book!)
  • 1 of 5 different personally prepared Astrology Reports. Details of which report you can choose will be sent to the winner. Donated by Celestial Signs Astrology Reports (How cool is that???!)
  • 2 eBook copies of The Broken by Ker Dukey
  • Swag pack from various authors donated by Bookworm Betties. (US Only.)
  • Signed copy of Magnolia Blossoms by Rhonda Dennis donated by Bookworm Betties. (US Only.)
  • 3 eBooks of Leaving Eva by Jennifer Sivec
  • eBook of choice up to $2.99 donated by It’s a Book Thing
  • Amazon eBook of choice up to $2.99 donated by Book Babblin’
  • eBook of Broken Ever After by Natalie Graham
  • eBook “Torn from You and “With You” Bonus edition by Nashoda Rose. (exclusive to Amazon) – This is one of my favourite books EVER.
  • eBook of Double Full by Kindle Alexander (I want to marry this woman!)
  • Signed paperback of Double Full by Kindle Alexander. International. (Yep, still want to marry her)
  • $10 Amazon gift card donated by Kindle Alexander (Sod it – Kindle, will you marry me???)
  • $5 Amazon gift card donated by Got it Covered Book Designs
  • eBook of Come to me Quietly by A.L. Jackson (Squeeee!)
  • $5 Amazon gift card donated by The Book Trollop (Love this lady and I am proud to give her lady boners!)
  • eBundle of Broken Fences and Favourite Places ~ Troublemaker by Kelly Gendron

So what do you think guys? AWESOME right?!! You can enter below. Click, share, and cross your fingers! I love each and every person who has helped me get this far. You rock! <3
a Rafflecopter giveaway